High School Essay from Bush Lover

Check this out. It's an essay from a kid in high school, or maybe junior high.

Why I love Bush!

Why I love Bush!

Americans love power—at least, REAL Americans love power. And Bush is all about power. He doesn’t take any stuff from anyone or anything—including the so-called “real world” or the so-called “facts”. This guy’s above all that, and that’s one of the things I love about him.

I started loving him when I learned about the Texas death penalty cases. Some guys killed some other guys, and they were going to get the death penalty. Now, some of them might have actually been innocent. But Bush doesn’t even care about that. Somebody’s gotta get killed when someone else gets killed. Otherwise we look bad. Yes, it’d be nice if they had the right guy, but even the “innocent” ones are people I’d be happy to get rid of. Just look at ‘em. They’re all pathetic anyway. And Bush is the only one out there who truly doesn’t care about that stuff.

Now, when it comes to Iraq, I love Bush even more. When stuff started blowing up, that shock and awe stuff, I was glued to the TV. I just wish we would have nuked those guys. Except then the small explosions, which are pretty big if you see one up close, wouldn’t happen as much. I know Bush would nuke those Iraqis if he didn’t like seeing those guys get ripped up so bad. I bet he gets all the best clips. I’ve seen some on the internet, but I bet they don’t release the real good stuff. I’d love to sit and watch that stuff with him someday.

Here’s the thing that I love the most. Bush knows he’s set for life. He always knew that. And when you’re set for life, you don’t have to worry about what other people think. I bet that’s awesome. Even if it got real bad for him with his ratings, you know he just doesn’t care. What can they do to him after all? What, they’re going to execute the president? I don’t think so. And even if the global warming and the terrorists and the economy blows up, you know he’s still going to be OK. That’s freedom! That’s what this county is all about.

I used to think it would be impossible to be President. Everybody’s always watching you and judging you. It’s like gym class or something. But Bush changed all that for me. Now I know you don’t have to care what people think at all. It’s kind of fun now when liberals are all pissed off. When I screw up in kick ball now, I just laugh at them when they get mad about it. Then I flip them the bird and laugh some more.

I know that when I’m set like that someday, I’m going to just say screw it and be just like Bush. My mom and dad don’t have any money like Bush does. They got laid off and all and that sucks cause their jobs went to India. We should nuke them too. But I’m going to make it. I know it. Cause Bush made it somehow. And now I got me a role model for how to succeed.

The only thing I don’t love about Bush, which I have to say since this is supposed to be a “critical” essay, is that he shouldn’t have given up drinking. I’d party all the time. I don’t know, maybe he still does, but I think he should just go ahead and say it.

That’s another thing I’d like to do. I’d like to party with Bush. We’d be in front of one of those huge TVs, watching stuff get blown up, and I’d pick his brain about how it is to just be able to waste those dudes and not even care. That’s what I’d love the most.

Scary stuff.